More than just a footnote
by Emserai
Summary: Set after the end of season 3: Blaine, Sam, Tina, Artie and Brittany's senior year and Kurt, Rachel, Mercedes, Santana and Quinn in New York. How can after the end of last year and everything that happened over the summer this year be anything more than just a footnote? How against the backdrop of tragedy can they make a year they can be proud of and should they even be trying to?
1. Prologue

Prologue

'Look Rachel,' Mercedes said as she lay back with her hands behind her head. 'Finn is an idiot,' she glanced at Kurt, 'a very nice and well meaning idiot,' she amended, 'but we've only got six weeks of summer before we go to New York and I have to go to work and you have school-'

'And Blaine and I have to go back to McKinley and Mike has to go to Chicago,' Tina added, she was sitting next to her boyfriend lazily holding his hand.

'So for the love of God would you please stop talking about how angry you are at him,' Mercedes finished.

'Besides he and Puck have gone on their long road trip to Los Angeles, it's not like we'll be seeing him for a few weeks.' Mike pointed out, he wasn't exactly in agreement with Mercedes' opinion of Finn but he was certainly in favour of getting Rachel to shut up.

When they left the park they had been sitting in a few hours later they split up to head home, Tina and Mercedes in one direction and the other four in the other. Blaine and Mike hung back and let Kurt and Racel walk together, Blaine was more relaxed about Kurt leaving now but he still didn't want to listen to Rachel talking and talking about it and Mike was a good friend anyway.

But New York wasn't in fact Rachel's topic of choice for today, 'I wish Mercedes wouldn't tell me to shut up like that, I'm not even that angry with him anymore, he called me last night you know.'

'Oh,' Kurt said, he didn't like this being stuck between one of his best friends and his brother but he had more difficulty telling Rachel to shut up than Mercedes did.

'Yeah, we talked about what happened and the army and I said about him not needing to set me free and we said when he got back we'd talk about long distance, like I'm still not totally sure, but the last two weeks I mostly just missed him, I think it might just work out Kurt.'

'That's good,' he said in a non-committal sort of way.

'Yeah it is isn't it?' Rachel said, before launching into more theorising about her relationship with Finn, she didn't seem to be put off by the fact that their relationship was in fact non-existent at the minute. Kurt sighed quietly to himself and thought how glad he was that Mercedes would be living with them in New York, she could dilute Rachel a bit and Quinn and Santana wouldn't be far away at NYU.

Suddenly he noticed that his phone was ringing and that he had stopped listening to Rachel but thankfully she was still talking so she hadn't noticed. 'Sorry,' he said picking up the phone, 'Hi Dad,' and then, 'Yeah I'm on the way home, Blaine's coming over, that's ok, isn't it?' he asked, there was another pause while his Dad spoke again, 'Dad is everything ok, you sound weird?' he said and then, 'Yeah she's still with us,' and after another pause, 'Umm sure I'll ask her, what's wrong Dad?' he asked again getting more uncomfortable as this conversation went on, 'Ok we'll come straight home, bye Dad.' Kurt said as he hung up. Blaine and Mike had caught up to them by this point and Blaine put an arm around Kurt's waist sensing his discomfort, 'What was that babe?'

'I don't know, Dad wants me and you and Rachel to come home straight away, it was weird he sounded really upset.'

'Weird,' Rachel said, but even she didn't say anything else. It wasn't long until Mike turned off to go home and after he left the three of them walked in silence, the unknown news already hanging over them.

* * *

A/N: I know this is short, the rest of the chapters will be longer. In terms of show continuity, this fic is set after the end of Season 3, it replaces Season 4, there are some changes to the end of Season 3 that affect where characters are etc, which will become obvious. If anybody did read my previous experiements in this 'verse in 'The roommate' - some material from that will be here. Theoretically if anyone cares I will update weekly and on the off chance that people like this I might post the first chapter sooner, because I know this prologue is very short!


	2. 01 I hope you dance

I hope you dance

_Previously in More than just a footnote…New Directions won Nationals, Carmen Tibideaux recognised the awesome talent that is Rachel and Kurt and they both got into NYADA, Mercedes signed on as a back-up singer in NYC and Quinn headed to NYU to study drama and Brittany as the world's foremost expert in Santana Lopez got her a cheerleading scholarship at the same university. But then Kurt got a strange phonecall from his Dad and tragedy struck and everything shifted from where it was supposed to be…_

Sam closed his locker and sighed, this was supposed to be his senior year, the year of triumph, the climax to everything that had been his high school career. But last year had been his hold onto sixteen year, this year he was living with his aunt instead of the Hummel-Hudsons – he had originally been going to live with them again but Burt said that it would be too much for Carole so instead he had to commute to school from his Aunt's, still it was better than starting a new school. To add insult to injury his girlfriend, well ex-girlfriend, was diva-ing it up in New York. He and Mercedes had decided to be just friends this year, though if he was honest he didn't really know how he felt about that. He felt like last year had been his triumph year, and this year was just the epilogue, it was tinged with that bitter taste that the tragedy of losing someone important in your life left in your mouth, that robotic feeling you get when you get up for school like everything is the same and you realise that so much of it is. That isolation that traps you when you feel in your heart like no one can be feeling as hard as you but in your head you know they are.

Ever since the moment when his Mum had come into his room that summer to tell him that Burt had called Sam had been dreading starting his senior year, wherever that would be. He had been sitting, playing computer games and wondering how fun summer really would be with his parents and siblings. 'Sammy,' his Mum had said, and he had looked up straight away, she only ever called him that when something was very wrong, 'Burt called, something's happened honey,' she had sat down on his bed and tapped the space beside her and he had walked over in a dream.

'Who?' he had whispered, as she had put an arm around him.

'Finn and Noah were in a car accident, when they were driving to LA,' she told him.

'Are they gonna be ok?' he had asked, because his teenage mind had not even calculated the possibility of the rest of the news.

'Noah's fine,' the part of Sam's brain that was still functioning had found it funny to hear his friend being called by his first name, 'But Finn died at the scene,' that was all she had said and then she had held him tight, for what had seemed like the longest time, but hadn't been long enough.

Breaking from his thoughts Sam looked up to see a guy he'd been hoping to run into this morning, 'Blaine,' He said with an almost genuine smile.

'Hey,' the shorter guy replied, returning Sam's smile, even though he thought it probably had to be fake, 'How was home?' he asked, as if a question like that could cover everything he wanted to say to Sam that morning, but then again he didn't have a clue what he wanted to say to Sam that morning.

'It was good to be with family, I missed my little brother and sister you know.'

'That's cool, Kurt says they're super cute.'

'They are, well I think they are, you should meet them when they come visit.'

'I'd like that,' Blaine smiled again, maybe this year could have some brighter spots in it, after a summer spent with Kurt and the girls he'd forgotten how well he and Sam could get on. They had got off to a bit of a rough start but after that they'd found they had a lot in common.

'Umm how is Kurt?' Sam asked unsure.

'Umm, he's ok, it's tough for him and Rachel, being out in New York after well, after everything.'

'Yeah,' Sam paused.

'Are you umm, are you ok?' Blaine asked, trying to make up for his pathetic summer question. Before it had happened Sam had already gone to spend the summer with his family, he came back for the funeral and stayed with Mercedes but then he had gone back again to spend the rest of the summer in Kentucky so Blaine had never really had a chance to talk to him about it and now in the school corridor he didn't really know where to begin. But he knew it must have been hard on him, he had been living with them during Finn and Kurt's senior year after all, and Blaine knew all three of them had become close, like brothers.

'Yeah, I mean, I miss him, it's weird being here, not that he would have been here, but it's where he was, and umm, did Kurt tell you about me and-' he asked, muttering, Sam wasn't exactly eloquent with speaking about his feelings.

'Yeah he did, sorry I didn't know if I should say anything.' Blaine told him.

'It's ok, it's better to just be friends, we didn't do overly well at the long distance thing before,' Sam sighed and decided he really didn't want to talk about it and regretted bringing it up, 'Shall we go look if anyone's signed up for glee?' he said to change the subject, he wasn't surprised Kurt had told Blaine, neither he or Mercedes had asked him to keep it a secret after all and he was pleased to know it was out in the open, he didn't really want to have to start telling people. When they walked up to the board they were surprised to find no names where it said: _New Directions: No auditions required_, there were pages of sign-ups for Coach Sylvester's Cheerios, there were even two names where it said: _Superhero appreciation Club. _

'Seriously, superhero appreciation club?' A voice said, Sam turned around to see a muscular, black sophomore who he was pretty sure was partly responsible for him losing his spot on the football team last year. Obviously the major problem had been that Sam wasn't there for try-outs but he reckoned if Liam hadn't been so good Coach Beiste might have given the spot to Sam, he had only been a freshman after all. Liam was also a bit of an idiot, well a lot of an idiot, he liked to lead around a pack of guys in his year and generally cause trouble, he'd been through a lot of girls and Sam had just never really liked him.

'Shut up Liam,' Sam said and wrote his name down underneath Liam's on the football team try-out sheet as if to make a point. He offered the pen to Blaine but he shook his head, though he did seem to be considering the superhero club.

'There's nothing up with appreciating Superheroes,' said a voice behind them, they turned around to see that Artie had joined them, 'Come on guys, we'll be late for practice, you seen Joe?' Sam was pleased to discover that Artie's coping method also involved trying to think about everyday things, but then again he had found the problem with that was the pain of the moment of realisation when it actually worked.

* * *

Tina opened her locker and looked a little sadly at the photo she had in there of last year's New Directions with the trophy, so much had changed since that moment. Underneath she stuck a picture of her and Mike from their last day together before he left for Chicago, she smiled a little, at least some things could stay the same. 'Hey, new Rachel,' Britt called to her across the corridor, 'We have to go, practice!'

'Don't call me that,' Tina moaned, she might be the female lead elect but there had actually been no votes and she didn't really think she was going to be a Rachel-style lead, but then again Britt's attitude was another thing that was reassuringly the same.

'But you are, everyone knows it,' Britt walked over behind her, 'Santana looks good in that picture,' she said looking at the photo of New Directions.

Tina didn't really know how to respond to that, she had never really been friends with Brittany before the summer, but they – her and Mike – had hung out a lot with Kurt and Blaine and Britt and Santana. 'Let's go,' she smiled. The two girls walked off to Glee Club arm in arm, they were meeting in the choir room for the first time that year.

When they arrived Blaine, Sam and Artie were already sitting down, and Sugar and Maria, this girl who used to be in the Troubletones, were there too. Sugar hadn't been around that much in the summer, her Dad had taken her on some crazy holiday with his new wife, according to the rumours they had been just about everywhere in the world but Tina didn't know whether to believe that. Tina was pleased to see Maria, she had a beautiful voice and was one of the best dancers in the Troubletones, but she wasn't surprised no one else had come, without Santana they really weren't likely to bring in Cheerios. They went over and hugged the three boys in greeting and then went and sat with the other two girls. Joe arrived not long after and came over and greeted the girls before going to sit with the guys. Mr Schuester slipped in then, 'Sorry I'm late guys,' he paused and looked at the mass of empty seats around the room, 'No new voices then?'

'Just Maria, but we know her from Troubletones,' Tina volunteered.

'None of the other girls joining us?' Will asked, disappointed.

'I think they're busy with cheerleading,' she muttered, embarrassed.

'Ok,' he said, he had thought long and hard about how to start this first Glee club meeting of the year, he didn't want what had happened at the start of the summer to be hanging over the club all year, but Principal Figgins had announced that a tree would be planted in Finn's memory on school grounds that morning in assembly, and they did need to talk about the talent show that was being planned as a memorial and to raise money for extra-curricular activities at the school.

Tina however spoke before he could, maybe it was natural that it was her, she was the female lead elect, and while she had known Finn, the loss for her was perhaps slightly less painful than it was for Sam or Artie or even Blaine who felt it not as his own loss but as a loss through Kurt which came combined with that helpless feeling you get when someone you love is hurting. She raised her hand, 'Mr Schue, I know we're going to talk about the talent show, but first I'd like to sing something.'

'Of course, take the floor Tina,' he gestured to her. She stood up and sang:

_I hope you never lose your sense of wonder  
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger  
May you never take one single breath for granted  
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed  
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean  
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens  
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance  
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance_

Blaine watched her and in a lot of ways he knew she was singing for Mike, but today there was more than just that in her head, she was singing for all of them, for all of them who loved someone who wasn't there, who hoped that somehow life could go on and people could just dance. And then Brittany stood up and joined her, he imagined she was mostly thinking of Santana who would be heading to NYU in a few days:

_I hope you dance  
I hope you dance_

_I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance  
Never settle for the path of least resistance  
Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin'  
Lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth makin'  
Don't let some Hellbent heart leave you bitter  
When you come close to sellin' out, reconsider  
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance  
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance  
_  
_I hope you dance  
I hope you dance  
-Time is a real and constant motion always rolling us along_

The rest of the club echoed the last line as Tina and Brittany sang. Sam gulped, time had rolled them all to somewhere that was disturbingly far away from and disturbingly close to where they wanted to be this year. So often it seemed like something had gone wrong with time and last year was only yesterday and then sometimes it felt like it was so much more than a few months ago.

_I hope you dance  
I hope you dance  
-Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder, where those years have gone?_

_I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean_  
_Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens_  
_Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance_  
_And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance_

_Dance_  
_-Time is a real and constant motion always rolling us along-_  
_I hope you dance_  
_I hope you dance_  
_-Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder, where those years have gone?_

Brittany and Tina finished there and the others clapped, Tina was relieved that they clapped, that they had appreciated her song choice, because she had wondered if perhaps it was too hopeful a note to start this year on. Mr Schuester found himself blinking at that line, where had all those years that he should have had gone? Suddenly he felt even more keenly the responsibility he had, the responsibility to the people in this room to respect their grief but to support them to make this year a year that they wouldn't look back on and regret how they spent it.

* * *

_4 days later_

Brittany watched as Santana climbed into the car with her Mum, she kept trying to tell herself she was nothing but happy for Santana, she had helped her get this scholarship after all, when Santana hadn't known where to go with her life. But Santana had always been there, almost as long as she could remember, from the moment they first met in middle school to only moments ago when they had been kissing goodbye on her doorstep and now that they were girlfriends everything between them seemed perfect and yet it wasn't, because Santana was going and Brittany was staying. 'I hope you dance,' she whispered as the car drove away.

* * *

A/N:

Song used: I hope you dance – Lee Ann Womack

So, a little earlier than I said, but I felt like the prologue gave so little it was only fair…thank you so much for reading and if you can please let me know what you think of my first real chapter I'd really appreciate that.


	3. 02 Stepping Out

Stepping Out

_Previously in More than just a footnote…The glee club found the landscape at Mckinley the same and yet somehow different as tragedy touched their hearts and the seniors prepared their departure for NYC._

_2 days before the start of term – Lima, Ohio_

Blaine stood outside Kurt's house, he wanted to knock, he really did, but he simply didn't know if he could, it was like knocking on the door would make it real, Kurt would really be leaving today. Obviously he was leaving today and there was nothing Blaine could do to change that, but somehow for a second he wanted to live in the dream world where summer would last forever and Kurt, Rachel and Mercedes weren't about to go to New York, where Santana and Quinn wouldn't be leaving for the same destination in a week and where Mike wasn't already in Chicago, the dream world where nothing changed. The dream world where tragedy hadn't struck, where Blaine didn't have this useless feeling that came every time he looked at Kurt, a dream world where time wasn't playing tricks on them. Carole opened the door and smiled at him, "Didn't feel like knocking then?" she asked, as always Blaine was amazed at her strength.

He shook his head, "I thought maybe if I didn't come in then it wouldn't be real," he admitted.

'I think Kurt feels the same,' she said, 'and Rachel, she was here earlier,' Blaine nodded. 'It's gonna be ok, nowhere is so far these days, and you guys are strong, I know it,' on an impulse she stepped forward and hugged him, for a second Blaine tensed in surprise, but then he hugged her back warmly. 'He's upstairs, go on up,' she said, pushing Blaine towards the stairs.

Kurt was sitting on his bed in his shockingly empty room, it looked somehow naked without the pictures on the walls and with the empty bookcase, 'I thought maybe you weren't coming,' he admitted.

Blaine sighed and went and put his arms around him, 'I'm sorry,' he said.

'It's ok,' Kurt whispered, 'It's just, it wasn't supposed to be like this, you know, he was supposed to be here.'

'I know,' his boyfriend said and brushed a tear away gently with his thumb. 'I know it doesn't compare, but I'm going to miss you.'

'I know, but I'll call you as soon as I get there and it won't be long before you're visiting for the weekend, your Mum is still going to buy you tickets right?'

'Sure, they're so that I can see the city or something,' he tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

'You're coming, that's the most important thing.' Kurt looked at Blaine and knew how much he would miss him too, this summer through it all it had been Blaine who'd kept him grounded, Blaine who he had called when he couldn't sleep because he could hear Carole crying in the next room, Blaine who had made him see he had to go when he wondered whether to stop his plans, it was hard to be the one who was going too, 'I'll miss you,' he said simply and they kissed.

Burt knocked on the door, 'I'm sorry but we really have to go Kurt,' both boys nodded, although they didn't speak, they walked to the already packed car hand in hand and Blaine and Carole waved them off.

* * *

_New York City_

Kurt opened his eyes lazily, they had been in New York for two days now and today was the last day before they had NYADA induction and Mercedes' first day of work, he glanced at his clock and realised it was still early, but he didn't feel like going back to sleep. Besides if he got up now he was guaranteed no one fighting him for the bathroom for at least half an hour, also he could make breakfast for Mercedes, she deserved that, she had been so understanding of Kurt and Rachel all summer and the last two days. All summer she had been so accepting of all their mixed feelings and he was sure she had moderated her excitement for them, he hoped she had been sharing it with Tina or Quinn instead but he hadn't had the capacity to ask.

An hour later he was just finishing styling his hair and he could hear the shower on, that had to be Mercedes, she wasn't stupid enough to let Rachel into the shower before her when she had to be somewhere at a particular time. This theory was confirmed when he heard her singing a few moments later, he laughed to himself – he was sure Mercedes would give them hell if they did that tomorrow.

He went into the kitchen and living area of their apartment and set the table for a simple breakfast, he prepared coffee for them both and was about ready when she came in, dressed but her hair still drying naturally and hanging in waves over her shoulders. 'Boo, you didn't have to do this,' she objected and he poured her coffee.

'I wanted to, you've been amazing all summer,' he smiled giving her the mug, 'Besides I was awake anyway.'

'Oh, are you alright?' she asked, she knew that Kurt had had trouble sleeping in the immediate aftermath of Finn's death.

'No, you don't get to ask that,' he told her sternly, 'Today is about you, I am fine, I just woke up and if later I am not I am a big boy and I will call my boyfriend, this morning is about you and your awesome new job and how you are going to eat this wonderful breakfast before you go.'

'How do I know it's wonderful?' she teased.

'Because I made it silly,' he grinned and hugged her around the shoulders before they sat down to what they both knew would be the first of many breakfasts together in New York. He kissed her on the cheek and waved her goodbye before she left and she bounced out of the door with excitement, he laughed at her, he had never seen her so childlike.

An hour later Rachel came into the room, still in her dressing gown, 'Morning,' he said looking up from the episode of project runway he was streaming on his laptop, 'you slept late?'

'Not really, I just didn't know what we were going to do today,' she admitted.

'Come sit down,' he said gently, 'We can do whatever you want, it's our last day before classes start after all.'

'I thought I could do this Kurt, but I don't know if I can, it wasn't supposed to be like this,' he nodded and reached forward and paused his laptop before putting his arm around her.

'I know, I know,' he said, because he really did, her feelings were her own and he couldn't understand all of them, but he shared a lot of them. 'All you have to do today is spend the day with me,' he squeezed her gently.

'But then tomorrow I have to go to school and no one's going to know, I have to live my life with all these people who know nothing about me, nothing about him.' She swallowed, 'That's what scares me, it's that moment when someone asks me to sing a love song and I want to cry and no one knows why, that moment when we have to choose duet partners and no one is the same.'

Kurt almost smiled, it was just like Rachel to have been theorising about these situations, working up her fears even more, 'Shush, you will face it when it happens, with grace and dignity like you faced everything else, because you are Rachel Berry, and thinking too much won't help.'

'Ok,' she said wiping a tear away for a second, 'What were you planning for today then?'

'I was planning to go stationery shopping and check out this sweet bakery I heard about,' he didn't tell her he wanted to check it out as a potential date location for him and Blaine, she would probably guess but it didn't seem fair to be explicit about it.

'I guess I should go and get ready then,' she almost smiled as she got up.

'Do you want breakfast?' he called after her, 'I am apparently quite good at it.'

'Just toast and coffee,' she called back, 'I want to enjoy this bakery.' Kurt loved that about Rachel, she could go from almost breakdown to dealing with the day in only a few minutes, he on the other hand as soon as he arrived at the point of breakdown he would be stuck there for at least an hour, usually in tears for most of it, so mostly he tried to stop himself getting to that point, he had had very mixed success so far.

The day that he left for New York he had thought that he had conquered it when he didn't fall apart when Blaine came to see him off, but instead twenty minutes down the road he had inexplicably and without warning burst into tears in the car and he and his Dad had had to stop for an hour while he calmed down. Before the funeral he had sat in Blaine's arms for two hours, hardly even speaking, unable to comprehend what he was feeling, nothing could ever have prepared him for this.

* * *

It was their first day at NYADA, and Rachel was nervous, terrified in fact, Kurt looked over at her, 'Don't be nervous Berry, it's only induction,' he hooked his arm around her shoulders and squeezed gently, she smiled gratefully at him, but didn't say anything, she was please he hadn't mentioned Finn, she didn't think she could take that today, today represented so much to her, more than even moving to New York for her it symbolized the beginning of the life she was somehow supposed to have that would never include him.

When they arrived in the small classroom there were already a few of the new students there, there would only be about twenty in all, this was the most competitive arts school in the country after all. Kurt dragged Rachel over to sit with two guys who were already there; they introduced themselves as Sean and Callum. The four of them slowly relaxed into that brand of conversation that freshers used constantly – they talked about where they were from, their glee clubs, their favourite bands and musicals, even their favourite foods. Rachel knew what had drawn Kurt to this pair, Callum seemed just about as, well gay, as he was, he was certainly as fabulously dressed and had very quickly started talking about vogue with Kurt. Rachel guessed a lot of the guys here would be like that, though the other one with them, Sean, seemed quieter, she wasn't sure about him. She kept quiet a lot of the time, letting Kurt do the talking, she knew that he was right and that it wouldn't have made it any easier if they had sat in a corner and built a wall with their grief not letting anyone speak to them.

After a while the room started to fill up, Rachel was looking around, she couldn't help spending a second wondering who would be her biggest competition in this room, her eyes settled on a tall redhead, who definitely looked like she was starting to command a social circle of other girls, she reminded her of Quinn, she was definitely one to watch out for.

Then their dean arrived – Carmen Tibideaux, she nodded and there was instant silence, such was the respect in the room for the woman they had all auditioned for only months before. She reminded them how lucky they were to be here, and how they still had to prove themselves and they had so much to learn. After that their dance teacher spoke to them and a couple of the older students, and their vocal teacher arrived to give them their first ever lesson.

Kurt sat down on the wall and let his legs swing just above the ground. He typed a quick message to Blaine, even though he knew he would be in the first Glee club meeting of the year and probably wouldn't answer, _First day of real classes – need to improve my dance moves and my wardrobe to keep in line here, miss you, love Kurt. _Then he jumped down to meet Rachel coming out of class, 'How was your day?'

'Vocal was great, but our dance teacher is mean, I think I should have been in ballet ten times a week judging by the other girls in my group,' she moaned.

'No, no, we are not having a confidence crisis on our first day,' he told her, 'You are Rachel Berry, and you are annoyingly self-confident, I know that you owned it in vocal, Sean told me, and dance will get better, you are incredible, now we are going out for coffee with Callum and Sean and you can't say no because I already called Mercedes and she's meeting us there.' He said with triumph. Rachel smiled and held up her hands in surrender and went with him to meet the other two guys.

'Let's go, there's a great place round the corner that my Mum took me after she dropped me off,' Callum said, 'Oh God that sounded so gay didn't it?' he laughed at himself.

'Yeah,' Kurt said, 'But if the coffee's good who cares?' and the two of them stepped forward ahead of Rachel and Sean and so didn't see them glance at each other awkwardly.

'Umm how was your day?' Sean muttered.

'It was fine,' Rachel said, but unusually for her she didn't elaborate, she hadn't even been able to tell Kurt how she really felt about her first real day at NYADA, she didn't even really know how she really felt. It was true that she had enjoyed her vocal class but afterwards she had had to go to the bathroom to collect herself because she had imagined what it would have been like to call Finn up and tell him about it. Then dance had been even harder than it would have been anyway. The thought at the end of the day that she could maybe be happy here after music theory class, something she had never really studied before, had been a frightening one, being happy again, how did you do that?

'You were awesome in vocal by the way,' he told her, 'I wish I could sing like that, well not like that exactly, but well you know, better.' He trailed off, frustrated at himself, her short answers were off putting and somehow he was losing the ability to form full sentences, what was wrong with him, he was an actor, he was better than this and he did not need to be behaving like this.

'Don't be ridiculous, you sing incredibly, I was actually thinking that your voice would really go well with mine,' Rachel said.

'That's a compliment,' Kurt called back, pausing from his conversation with Callum for a moment, 'Just thought I'd let you know because it's sometimes hard to tell with her,' he smiled, there was a tiny glimpse of the old Rachel Berry, maybe they really could both heal here.

* * *

A/N: Some more of this fic, thanks to everyone who has read and I really appreciate the people who've followed, although I would love to have some feedback as I develop this fic.


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